Money, money, money, money,....monnnney! (To the tune of The Apprentice)

I know I havent posted anything in awhile, but I have been so busy. KC & I are leaving next Sat. for a week long vacation with my mom and grandparents. We are going to a place they (the gparents) just bought in Aliceville, AL where my Pop (gpa) is from. We go there every year in June for a family reunion, and my Pop was given the opportunity to buy some of his families old land back so he did. It has a mobile home on the property so we are going to furnish the place and get it ready for everybody to stay in for the reunion this June. This is also something they wanted to do for our family, so that when they are no longer here we will always have a place where we have roots so my Pop says. So this will be a working vacation, but hey anywhere except home is good enough to be called a vacation to me. We also have my best friends son Erics birthday party to attend tomorrow at 1pm so today I finished up gift shopping and bought KC & me some new shoes. I had a coupon from Stride Rite for buy 1 get 1 50% off and KC is just about to outgrow his size 5's so he got 2 new pairs of shoes. A cute brown pair, and a cute navy blue pair. I dont get to buy all the cute frilly girly shoes, so he atleast has shoes to match. I got some cute brown Roxy flip flops because for some reason I can only locate one of my favorite pair that Ive had forever. I wonder what KC did with it?? I just found his John Deere boots Ive been looking for for about 2 weeks, they were behind the entertainment center so I can only imagine where my left flop will turn up. I never never spend money on myself, I always buy for KC, the hubby, KAS, and then there always a gift for birthdays etc., so today the Hubby gave me $40 bucks and told me to buy some new flip flops for myself. He said if I came home without them or spent that $40 bucks on anybody but me I couldnt buy KC another thing! HAHA! Yeah right, but I got his point anyways and came home with about $3 bucks leftover.

I felt so guilty today even buying anything when we went shopping. I spent $42 bucks at Childrens Place, $15 bucks at Gymboree, $35 bucks at Tillys, $78 bucks at Stride Rite, $37 bucks at Dillards, and $62 bucks at Target and that equals $269 bucks total. Thats like a whole electric bill! Finances have been tight in our house since Christmas, and Im on the verge of going back to work...hopefully not though! My hubby does land clearing, landscaping, lawn care, and also has a tree service but he has been slow for months. We are hoping things are going to start picking up soon with the spring season and people getting their tax money back to spend. And I know this is going to sound insane, but a hurricane would be really sweet! Not a Cat. 5 Katrina or anything, but a nice Cat. 2 or 3 with some strong gale force winds to knock down some trees would be a a dream come true. I live in Florida and yes I just wished for a hurricane! I could go back to work at my familys business and be able to take KC with me everyday, but uggggh the though of having to go back to work at the family enterprise is not appealing. But then again the job market these days sounds pretty rough, so having a job at all if I needed it would be a for sure blessing! I have gotten quite used to not working and doing my own thing and Id like to keep it that way. Finances causes my mind to spin non-stop. I will be 30 this year and I have come so far and been able to have so much, the thought of loosing my footing drives me loony. I have been very fortunate growing up to have a family that has gone above & beyond caring for me and giving me alot in my lifetime. Its different when you grow up, move out of the nest and starting paving your own path, you no longer want things given to you, you want to do it for yourself. Once you get used to that, having to back step and then ask someone else for help just blows your self esteem out of the water. On top of that we have dealing with my hubbys EX who thinks she still runs things, about more money of course, and I found a lien against me while looking for something for a friend. There are 2 actual liens adding up to almost $5000.00, 1 from late 07, and 1 from early 08. The state is saying my business was open much longer than it was and they estimated my taxes through the month I really closed in April of 07 thru the whole year of 08. I have all my paperwork to prove this but its a pain to get it undone. I cant file my income taxes this year until this is cleared up because they will hijack my tax refund, and I need it damnit! If it only grew on trees for real! I know so many other people that are way worse off than we are, so just complaining about my situation makes feel un-entitled. I pray every night that our situation resolves itself here soon. I have been selling stuff on ebay and craigslist and that has been giving me some cushion, and is helping me rid my garage of unused baby gear..bonus!

Tommorrow should be fun though, there will be a bunch of kids running around so KC will have a blast. Erics birthday parties have always been at a nearby huge county park with lots to do!