Twenty years ago today, I was a 9 year old girl to young to understand, but old enough to know the meaning. Twenty years is a long time to be without your Dad, long enough to question whether he was really here at all. Twenty years ago I remembered his smile, his laugh, his voice, but today its hard to remember the details except for photos. Twenty years is a long time to hang on to memories, and a long time to let some of them go. Twenty years ago, my life changed forever even though I didnt want it to. Twenty years ago etched a date in my mind that I will never forget as long as I live. Twenty years ago I became a statistic. Twenty years ago I was forced to grow up beyond my years and try to grasp why God would do this to me? Twenty years ago I knew that my Dad went to Heaven after he came to me in a dream to tell me he was sorry to leave me so soon, and that he was ok, and one day he would see me again. Twenty years ago my Dad was 29, and had his whole life ahead of him. Twenty years ago seems like such a long time.
Today I am the woman I am because of what I went through. Today, I know the battles I endured not having that man in my life. Today I accept that my life will always be different. Today I wonder what he would think of my life, and what he would think of his only grandson. Today I am sad because my son will never know my Dad. Today I wish I could have one last hug. Today I want it all to be a dream. Today I am 29, and I have my whole life ahead of me. Today I miss him just as much as I did then.
2 comments:
Bless your heart. Sending hugs your way as you remember your dad today.
That's amazing that your dad visited you in a dream the day he died. I'm sure he looks down on you often and smiles as he watches his grandson. :)
Big (((HUGS))) for you girl. I am so so sorry.... It was 10 years ago in November that my mom died of cancer, so I understand how hard it is to start to have those precious memories slip away... I wish I could remember my mom better. I have had dreams about her as well and I know she is with me always. I know your dad is with you and he is so proud of his grandson. :)
Post a Comment