20 years is a long time

Twenty years ago today, I was a 9 year old girl to young to understand, but old enough to know the meaning. Twenty years is a long time to be without your Dad, long enough to question whether he was really here at all. Twenty years ago I remembered his smile, his laugh, his voice, but today its hard to remember the details except for photos. Twenty years is a long time to hang on to memories, and a long time to let some of them go. Twenty years ago, my life changed forever even though I didnt want it to. Twenty years ago etched a date in my mind that I will never forget as long as I live. Twenty years ago I became a statistic. Twenty years ago I was forced to grow up beyond my years and try to grasp why God would do this to me? Twenty years ago I knew that my Dad went to Heaven after he came to me in a dream to tell me he was sorry to leave me so soon, and that he was ok, and one day he would see me again. Twenty years ago my Dad was 29, and had his whole life ahead of him. Twenty years ago seems like such a long time.

Today I am the woman I am because of what I went through. Today, I know the battles I endured not having that man in my life. Today I accept that my life will always be different. Today I wonder what he would think of my life, and what he would think of his only grandson. Today I am sad because my son will never know my Dad. Today I wish I could have one last hug. Today I want it all to be a dream. Today I am 29, and I have my whole life ahead of me. Today I miss him just as much as I did then.

Boo boo's, allergies, and scrapes...oh my!

In the last week KC has gotten enough bumps, bruises, and scrapes to last him for awhile. Last week we dealt with a stupid mosquito bite that left his left eye swollen shut. This week we have skinned knees, a shin , and a nose. He took a nose dive literally in our carport on Saturday and come up with half of his nose filleted open. Next he was pushing his dumptruck around and got going to fast and his knees ate it on the same patch of carport. We then went to visit our neighbors down the road where he fell on his knees again, followed by his right shin. He also got another nice mosquito bite in the middle of his forehead. Poor guy has had a bad week, Im thinking in investing in Neosporin after this weekend.

The Hubby got rid of his catheter finally, he feels so much better. He isnt passing blood or clots either which is great news. We go back to the Dr. on May 5th for a recheck and to find out the lab results. A long time to wait and worry in my opinion.

We didnt do a whole lot this weekend, just hung around the house. I put away all the Easter decorations and cleaned out the garage some. My goal is to convert half of the garage into my craft/scrapbooking room and slowly but surely I think my idea is taking hold. Im in the process of searching craigslist for some desks and storage ideas since I have everything cleaned out. The Hubby has his own manly garage for all his tools and toys, but I have nowhere to call "my" place and the kitchen doesnt count! Im really looking forward to having a area to call my own so I can get back to doing things that I enjoy by myself. Everyone needs "me" time and I have been missing out on that for sometime now. Well enough boring you all, have a great week!

Finally....some Easter photos & a update on Hubby

I still dont have my laptop, and with everything going on its not been high on my priority list. I have been posting my pictures from this dinosaur but I am not able to resize or edit them because I have none of my programs, or favorites, or anything on this stupid thing! The Hubby is finally home, he was able to come home Thursday afternoon. After spending 4 days in there he was ready to come home, even though the food was great! That place is just the greatest place, people are there from all around the world for one common cause....cancer. I brought my camera Wednesday when I took KC to visit him in the hospital, but Hubby said if I took a picture as soon as he got out of there he would smash my camera into a million tiny pieces, so it never came out of the bag. Guess you could say he did not want any memories of this huh? Im playing nurse until Monday when I get to remove his catheter. Wait...what did I just say?? You read it right, they taught me how to remove a catheter from my husbands penis before we left the hospital and I will tell you I am about as pleased at that as my Hubby is. I also learned how to properly flush a bladder through a catheter with a giant syringe & some saline. Fun huh? On a lighter note, he did tell me that hes had more women touching his pecker (his exact words) in the last 4 days than he has in his whole life. I laughed so hard in the car on the way home I cried. I had to add the fact that a few men had done the deed also, since he has male Drs., he didnt find that to funny though.

I wanted to share some Easter photos because if I dont I know I never will. On Easter KC, KAS, & I went to church, then after church we went to my familys to eat lunch. KC got to hunt eggs for the first time, even though he was by himself. He still had a blast! KAS & I colored eggs on Saturday while KC was napping because its just to messy for him still. We did tie dyed eggs, camo eggs, and some other cool ones too.

Enjoy!


KC in his Easter outfit complete with paci.
Our eggs

KC with his Easter basket

KAS and her Easter basket