Free...

It was a yucky day today, a bad storm woke us up before daylight and the lightning and thunder was terrible. I woke up having to get dressed and ready like I was going to a new job, except I wasn't...I was going to a funeral. Funny how the weather coincided with the mood of a lot of close friends today. I dropped KC off at school and headed to the church where last night over 600 people passed through to pay their respects to a wonderful guy. Today wasn't as crowded but you could feel the love in those four walls. Duanes eulogy was read by Brooke, his sister and also Jeremy one of his best friends who was there when he passed away. I have known these people my entire life and hearing the words and seeing their pain just made me so sad. Brooke spoke about taking your days for granted always assuming there is going to be tomorrow, she thought she would see her brother again in this life not knowing that wasn't to be. She knows she will see him again one day and her faith tells her that. Jeremy talked about all the first he and Duane experienced together, camping, being there when each other got married, and had there first child. Both Duane and Jeremy's mothers had breast cancer and they helped each other through the rough times. Various hunting and fishing stories and many other stories not suitable for church, but this was a first, the first time Duane wasn't going to be there for a first. Jeremy grew up in church and said he considered himself a Christian man and his whole life has always justified things with God has plan. It shook me to hear him say that as the Christian man he doesn't not in anyway understand God's plan in loosing his friend and it was going to take a lot of convincing to get him to try to understand this all. Why would God take a father away from his precious little girl? he asked. Why? It just breaks my heart that a single accident would make a man question everything he's based his life on for the past 34 years. It breaks my heart that Duane's precious little girl is grow up without him in her life. When we were all standing at the cemetery, with our eyes closed listening to the preachers last prayer....the clouds opened up and a bright beam of sunshine shined down on us all for a just a few seconds. I smiled just thinking maybe that was Duane giving us one last reason to smile.

Even though sad moments like this make time seem to stand still, it is inevitable that time will keep right on trucking. The memories have to be positive ones and you have to smile and remember the good times and make that make you keep going. I know I will see my friend Duane again one day, I will see my Dad, and Johnny and all the special people I have lost in my life again. I know I will and I that gives me comfort knowing that I have a lot of special people looking over me too. Until then I have pictures and good memories to carry me through the days & help me keep going.


Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God has chosen for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I've now found peace at the end of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;
Oh yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
Look for the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
Don't lengthen your pain with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and peace to thee,
God wanted me now-He set me free

RIP Duane - You touched many lives & that was very evident over the last few days. You will always be missed, remembered and loved by us all, until we meet again my friend.