Seriously Mama....whyd you let that guy stick me with that needle?

Today I took KC to get his bloodwork done for pre-op, and this was his very fist time having it done. Of course we get there and the waiting room is filled up. At this point Im thinking about not even staying because the last thing I wanted was him catching something else while waiting for this surgery. We have been on lockdown for a week waiting for this thing to come to an end. We stayed, and lucky us almost half the people ended up walking out because they didnt want to wait that long. When they called his name we went back & they had me sit him on my lap. They had me position my arm in front of the arm they werent getting blood from, so he didnt try to grab or move. He didnt like what was going on one bit, & I hated the feeling of having to be the one forcing him to do something that ended up hurting. He cried & wailed for about 20 seconds or so, then he just started sobbing! He was crying these huge, fat tears that just broke my heart in two! It was very quick, and the guy that stuck him was really quick, and theres no bruise or anything so I feel he did a good job. By the time it was over KC was pitching more of a fit to get the gauze and tape off his arm than he was about the pain. He doesnt like band-aids, stickers or anything being stuck to him so he was all pissed when I would let him pull it off. It wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be, but we did stop for some ice cream on the way home to make it all better! Surgery will be early Friday morning but Im not sure what time yet, we are going to a day surgery center near the hospital as an outpatient deal instead of the hospital. Ive heard good things about this place from several IRL Mom friends, so I feel alot better about it all. Im just hoping the outcome is better than what the last few months have been, hopefully its smooth sailing from Saturday on!



Here is KC once we made it home, he couldnt stand it stuck to him one more second!

Ears, nose, & throat....oh my!

The time has come....to remove KCs adenoids and to add tubes to his ears. This has been an ongoing battle since atleast August with sinus infections, ear infections, fever, lots of snot, & lots of coughs. Finally after what has seemed like forever we got the go ahead for surgery, and although I do not like the idea of my baby boy being put to sleep, or chopped on I am soooooo relieved that this is the end of these horrible past few months. KC has just felt awful, he is whiny, he hasnt ate good in several weeks,and he puked for the first time in his life & it totally freaked him out. He shrieked in terror when the projectile got all over him & me. He had no clue what was going on poor lil feller. I, in return got to clean up my first puke mishap and that was followed up by a nice diarrhea episode the next night. It was a double whammy considering he made it past 2 years old with never having either, man have I been lucky! From what I hear from all my FB friends the majority of kids have tubes, and it has been a breeze ever since. KC did have a hearing test and he was hearing at right below a normal level due to all the puss and fluid behind his ears. The ENT Dr. said that has also 100% been affecting his vocabulary, he said more than likely all KC is hearing is something like the teacher off of
Charlie Brown...wah wah wah wah - wah wah!


The surgery hasnt been scheduled yet, but they said today it would be maybe the end of next week. The sooner the better in my mind, but he has to be fever free for a full 3 days before the Doc will do it, and so far that has not happened. He has been running a fever off & on since Saturday, and he got a new antibiotic on Tuesday. Today is actually the first day he hasnt ran a fever & hasnt been funneling Motrin and Tylenol. Did I mention that Im over all this? I really want to go back to this....

when I had a happy boy, with no cough and a snot free face to kiss!

Finally....some Easter photos & a update on Hubby

I still dont have my laptop, and with everything going on its not been high on my priority list. I have been posting my pictures from this dinosaur but I am not able to resize or edit them because I have none of my programs, or favorites, or anything on this stupid thing! The Hubby is finally home, he was able to come home Thursday afternoon. After spending 4 days in there he was ready to come home, even though the food was great! That place is just the greatest place, people are there from all around the world for one common cause....cancer. I brought my camera Wednesday when I took KC to visit him in the hospital, but Hubby said if I took a picture as soon as he got out of there he would smash my camera into a million tiny pieces, so it never came out of the bag. Guess you could say he did not want any memories of this huh? Im playing nurse until Monday when I get to remove his catheter. Wait...what did I just say?? You read it right, they taught me how to remove a catheter from my husbands penis before we left the hospital and I will tell you I am about as pleased at that as my Hubby is. I also learned how to properly flush a bladder through a catheter with a giant syringe & some saline. Fun huh? On a lighter note, he did tell me that hes had more women touching his pecker (his exact words) in the last 4 days than he has in his whole life. I laughed so hard in the car on the way home I cried. I had to add the fact that a few men had done the deed also, since he has male Drs., he didnt find that to funny though.

I wanted to share some Easter photos because if I dont I know I never will. On Easter KC, KAS, & I went to church, then after church we went to my familys to eat lunch. KC got to hunt eggs for the first time, even though he was by himself. He still had a blast! KAS & I colored eggs on Saturday while KC was napping because its just to messy for him still. We did tie dyed eggs, camo eggs, and some other cool ones too.

Enjoy!


KC in his Easter outfit complete with paci.
Our eggs

KC with his Easter basket

KAS and her Easter basket

Yesterdays News

Well, a last minute change happened yesterday and the Hubby did not come home as planned. His surgery was supposed to last right around 1 hour and 2 1/2 hours later I knew it could not be good news and I was right. The surgery was to remove 2-3 tumors that were seen during a cystoscopy in November. At that time Hubby had no insurance and the bills at Moffitt totalled right around the $20,000.00 mark from previous surgeries and procedures so we applied for financial aid through Moffitt. During the holidays our paperwork was somehow"misplaced" and we didnt find out until February. We re-applied then and it was just approved at 100% payment 2 weeks ago, so his surgery was pushed to the front since it had been so long. When his Dr. went in his bladder he said the entire inside of his bladder was covered in tumors and in all he lasered out tumors that added up to the size of a grapefruit. He said Hubbys CT scan did not show any tumors or growths on the outside of the bladder which he was pleased about, and he said the tumors that were removed we not deep in the muscle which he was also pleased about. He was really concerned at the amount of the time it took these tumors to take over, and in the 7 or 8 years we have been with this Dr. I have never heard him use the word concerned which really made me uneasy. He also used the actual word cancer which scared the shit out of me. This decade of dealing I have always told myself it wasnt real cancer, so it would be ok. I always rationalized it in my mind that the kind of cancer that kills is the malignant kind, which my Hubby didnt have so its all good. In 1998 when this all started Hubbys tumors were actually malignant cancerous tumors in his bladder, and from then until just today all tumors that were removed in other surgeries were benign, superficial growth tumors, and that is a HUGE difference! The tumors today were sent off to the pathologist to determine if they are the superficial growth tumors we are used to, or the the other cancer kind that we really really dont want. The results should be back in 3 - 10 days, but the nurse said usually they are back within 3-5 days. The Dr. also did say some news I was glad to hear, but then followed by some more news I didnt want to hear. The good news, after this surgery the Dr. said he is leaning more towards NOT doing a bladder replacement, after the last 2 surgeries he had said he was only going to do this a few more times before he wanted to just replace his whole bladder. Right after this, he said that if the pathology reports come back as cancer we would discuss our options further, but that he would more than likely want to start some rounds of chemo and radiation since that path has never been taken and see what happened. Hubby has been lucky that he has never had to do any of these treatments, and I hope he stays that way. So, with all the cutting inside his bladder he was still bleeding pretty bad so they decided to keep him over night. His catheter got clogged with blood clots 4 times over the evening because he was bleeding so much. Just the thought makes me cringe! I didnt tell the Hubby all the details because he was still to out of it to really comprehend it all, and I knew it would just scare him. I didnt leave the hospital until 9pm, and he didnt want me to leave him but I just couldnt do it. Hubby said this morning that the Dr. came in to check on him and there was still way to much blood so he may be able to come home tonight at the earliest. I dont recall many people checking out at night so Im assuming he will more than likely stay again tonight. I hope these results come back quickly and they hold positive news for us!

Blahhhh!

Hubby came through surgery ok, but we didnt get good news. He actually had to stay overnight because of nausea and he was still bleeding quite a bit but he should be home tomorrow hopefully.

I have started compiling the details to post tomorrow because I wanted to read it again when Im not so out of it. I dont think I have been this tired since I came home from the hospital with a newborn baby KC!

Im off to dream that this all is just a dream.

Thank you for caring!

Surgery Day

Ok, so I never found time to post about Hubbys surgery but over the next few days I should have a alot of free time. Surgery is today at 12:45pm at Moffitt. His surgery shouldnt last more than 2 hours, the are going up in his bladder to remove several large tumors. This is a day surgery so we should be home by later this evening unless plans change last minute. This makes 11 surgeries for this same thing so it should be a cake walk, but its not. My Hubby hates anesthesia, and hospitals like most guys do, and hes the biggest sissy, like most guys are. Last time we did this he was sent home with a catheter which I had to remove 3 days later, and Im not a RN for a reason. Can we say ICKY! It was not fun at all, for me and certainly not for him. Im not good at all this, I get frusturated and agitated because men are supposed to be men and I dont know how to handle a balling 38 year old man very well. Ive had several surgeries and its always not been a big deal to me. Is that insensitive of me? I hate that I feel that way but Im just like get a grip! Oh how I hate this part!

Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers this afternoon.
I will update once we get home and settled.

Thanks so much!

Today..

Today, marks the one week spot for the Hubbys surgery.

Today, I made him go for pre-op all by hisself.

Today, I am not looking forward to the week ahead and the weeks that will follow.

Today, I wonder why everyone always thinks that I am so strong.

Today, I thank others from the bottom of my heart for providing my family the financial aid needed to pay for Hubbys surgery 100%, healthcare for one year, and $20,000.00 in bills that were already accumulated, all paid for by donations to Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa.

Today, I wish that one day we will be able to help someone else like we have been helped.

Today, my mind wrestles with the thought of my Hubby not being here.

Today, I try to tell myself everything is fine.

Today, I want this surgery to be the last surgery.

Today, I worry.

Today, I hope.

Today, I pray for my Hubby and others.